fofol's Silly Little Dictionary

I thought it would be fun to organize my views on Life into an alphabetic form, rather than trying to write thick books that nobody will ever read .... So here's my personal aphoristic dictionary, and (short) contributions are welcome!

WARNING : YOU MIGHT LAUGH! Humourless folk should leave, or at least avoid mailing me, I don't waste my time on answering flames!

If you want to contribute or discuss, just click below:

• ANIMALS Since I know mankind, I love animals.

• ASSHOLES The main part of humanity, irrestistibly attracted by Usenet, where they spend their miserable lives on flame wars.

• BEARS are kind of my fetish beings. Must have been one some time. (Yes, and a duck, too)

• BIGOTRY has its statue in NYC.

• BISEXUALITY The habitual way of having fun in Nature, unfortunately prosecuted by society, like every way of having fun. I for one find it somewhat limited, polysexuality fits me better ....

• BITCH Acronym meaning "Babe In Total Control of Herself".

• BULLSHIT Usenet's primary matter, free and of unlimited availability.

• BUSINESS What friends are not for.

• CARS make me sick.

• COMPUTERS 'Ya know, most computers already have a lot in common with cats ... they are independent as hell, finicky as a bitchy Brit on a winter evening, and picky about what you feed them ... and often they seem to have a mind of their own ... maybe they are already like cats ... all they need is a soft fur cover and fangs and claws all over the place ...' (Trinity, Dec. 8 2002)

• CONDOMS The cheapest and securest life insurance of all.

• CONSERVATIVES US euphemism usually meaning people with attitudes ranging between stubbornly reactionary and outrageously nazi.

• CYNICISM The art of turning despair into laughter.

• DRUGS The longer way to self-destruction, shorter though than religion. Just about everything can be used as a drug, even pure tapwater : junk is a way of life, and a way to death.

• DUCKS see WATER

• FLAMERS The dominant race among Net assholes.

• FLAME WARS The assholes' favourite activity on Usenet.

• FRIENDS Are all that's left when you're in deep shit. You're intimate with them without being engaged to them.

• GAY (MALE) A man who loves men, not a man who hates women (those are part of the assholes).

• GENDER is what you make out of it. (Heard in 'Venus Boyz')

• GENETICS Make Love not genetics.

• HEROIN "We're nothing
  And nothing will help us
  Maybe we're lying
  Then you better not stay
  But we could be safer
  Just for one day"

         (David Bowie, 'Heroes')

• HUMOUR Is when you laugh despite the facts, especially when looking into a mirror. Lack of humour can be lethal (especially on the Net).

• INTOLERANCE comes back to you, too.

• JUSTICE Police everywhere, justice nowhere.

• KNOWLEDGE Interesting and useful as long as it doesn't turn into science.

• LESBIAN A woman who loves women, not a woman who hates men (those are part of the assholes).

• LIBERTINAGE Living your life as you like to. Hurts only self-destructive characters with a guilt trip.

• LINUX A sado-masochistic sect for humourless dreamers.

• MANKIND The Scum of Creation

• METAPHYSICS The art and science of endowing meaning by demonstrating that there is no such thing as meaning. Handy hint: perform this function as if it were meaningful because, in this way, it will be 8-) (Deb Marsh)

• NATURE The force that will eventually get the universe rid of mankind, at last.

• the NET This strange cable infrastructure where assholes and supportive persons meet but don't mingle. Meant to establish communication, but often results in establishing confusion.

• NORMALITY "Who took the hippies and put them in a zoo? Who hushed the beatniks and filled their mouths with glue? Who took the music and turned it into poo? HEY, Mr. Normal, IT WAS YOU!!!" - Teen Band on TV show "Daria", September 1999

• PATRIOTISM The verbal force of the mentally weak.

• PEACE The natural state of the universe, once stripped of mankind.

• PERVERSION Everything that gives you pleasure and that society condemns.

• POLICE Police everywhere, justice nowhere.

• POLITICS Fairy tales for those who believe in Society.

• POLITICAL CORRECTNESS A modern form of the Holy Inquisition justified by psycho-science abuse. Only inhuman totalitarian systems try to control people by controlling their language and behaviour.

• POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS The only intelligent way of expressing ourselves.

• PROSTITUTES The only people who have understood the real value of sex.

• PURITANS Adorers of the Holy Inhibition.

• RELIGION see SUPERSTITION

• SCIENCE A religion based on the belief that knowledge is enough to explain everything. Generally leads to abuse.

• SEX Good when you have it, better when I have it, best when we have it. Understood only by prostitutes, undergone by the rest.

• SMARTASSES The Net assholes' high priests caste.

• SUICIDE The shortest way to self-destruction, but not the funniest.

• SUPERSTITION same as RELIGION. A lame excuse for not accepting the absurdity of existence. Based on illusions and fear. Generally leads to self-destruction by undergoing power abuse based upon it.

• SUPPORT is what friends are for. The opposite of what assholes can give you on Usenet (and elsewhere).

• TALK is cheap, Usenet is free. So much about the value of speech on the Net. By the way: when talk is cheap, silence has a worth, and sensible talk is wealth.

• TOLERANCE comes back to you, but you have to use it first.

• TOOLS are for creation, not for destruction. Can become weapons if perverted.

• USENET The assholes' favourite hangout.

• WAR Nihilistic materialism. Tax payers just love it. "War is selective abuse of Human Rights" (Ruth Jüttner of Amnesty International in Spiegel Online on Feb. 4 2003)

• WATER attracts me a lot. I must have been a duck somewhere in Time .... (Yes, and a bear, too)

• WEAPONS Tools perverted into means of destruction. One of the things Nature gave to humans to get rid of them.

• X-RATED WEB SITES are for people who lack imagination (Hey, this can happen to everybody!).

Last update of this page made on 14/02/05